Monday, February 24, 2014

A Message from the NRA (National Rock Association)

We know there are ignorant people who don't know the difference between a hand rock, a hunting stone and an assault boulder and it is the misplaced moral judgements of these pathetic liberals that threatens to force rock throwing into the dark, uncontrolled underworld environment, where the building of satanic stone cairns and altars flourishes...

Monday, February 17, 2014

The Riffmaster-2000 (patent-pending)

The Next Step in data management, devised by the Curmudgeon in cooperation with the NSA. Believe me, this is a hell of a lot more than just muzak-to-make-you-shop-faster-at-Walmart's, baby-this is putting your Prism dollars to work!

Here "IT" is.

Monday, February 10, 2014

The Media's "Death-Of" Industry

"The media megalopolis thoughtfully provides us with an endless stream of top ten best and worst lists, but one of the media’s most thriving sub-industries is the Death-of industry, which has the schaden-freudian task of informing us which precious cultural commodity is about to kick the bucket."


Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Our Lady of The Price is Right

” Five days a week, soaring audio, screaming graphics, and dizzying camera shots herald this fervent ministry. The names of the chosen few are called out in demographic perfection-perky coeds, a black or two, Latins, Marine sergeants, and Sun Belt retirees. Exhorted to "Come on Down!" they spring from their seats like human Pop-Tarts and race to their places at the bidding pews. Released from purgatory, they have taken the first step on the path to ultimate redemption-the Showcase Showdown." 

Price_is_Right-1.26.14.mp3 (5'23")

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The Demise of Pawn Shops

"Unfortunately, in the space of a few ill-conceived years, Cambridge not only got rid of its scrofulous pawn shops, it also eliminated rent control and turned Harvard Square into a suburban mall..."

Pawn Shops-1.26.14.mp3 - 3 MB   (2'15")